Child Sexual Exploitation

Guest Blogger and child sex crimes investigator, Tom Clinton, tells us what to do when confronted with this nightmare 

It is real and it can happen to anyone 

The sexual exploitation of children is a horrifying reality in our society. Whatever the causes, there is no excuse for the moral depravity that leads to the exploitation of the weak and vulnerable. Victims are too young to know they are being taken advantage of and lack the ability to react appropriately. Recently two stories came out where adults, victimized as children, revealed their torment.  Only after years of anguish and the courage found in adulthood could they confront their abusers.  One was the daughter of a celebrity who wrote an open letter about the abuses she suffered at the hand of her adoptive father.  The other was a mom who utilized You Tube to confront a former coach and teacher who took advantage of her through a position of authority.  Both victims alluded to thinking it was normal at the time it was happening when in reality, they were carefully groomed and manipulated into this position of vulnerability.

Groomers and manipulators are predators

Child Victim - Now Brave Adult
http://www.visaliatimesdelta.com/

The myth that ALL child molesters are “strangers” to our children is just that, a myth.  Actually, the “acquaintance molester” is probably the most common offender in today’s society. The term “acquaintance” has been coined to describe this type of child sexual offender because the victim child/children and typically the victims’ parents/guardians know and trust this person and willingly permit them access to our child...i.e. a teacher, coach, friend, guardian, clergy, neighbor, policeman, doctor etc.

Sensory overload

Unfortunately, parents, grandparents, guardians, relatives, friends, or other caregivers can be lulled into a sense of denial about the existence or possibility that it could happen to one of their children.  What is worse, is when this happens, these caregivers are often at a complete loss about what to do.  They are in a state of shock and a myriad of thoughts race through their heads. Between dealing with this emotional nightmare and trying to harness their thoughts as to what action to take, they find themselves confused, troubled and in a state of shock.

A case in point

Recently, I was contacted by a concerned parent who was the mother of two children, both under the age of 9.  The children had disclosed to her that they were being “touched on their privates and asked to touch the privates” of their coach.  At the time of my interview, the mother had been aware of the situation for a week and described herself as “numb, lost, confused and angry”, yet she and her husband were at a loss about what to do.  

While the parents immediately took action to not let their children near the coach after the abuse came to light, their thoughts and emotions paralyzed them and they were at a loss as to what to do next.  After a week of knowing what happened, the parent’s inaction and concerns included the following: 

• They had not informed law enforcement or anyone other than a few trusted friends and some family. 
• They feared for their children’s safety if they went to the police because they feared reprisals from the predator once he learned that the children accused him.  
• They wondered if they should change the locks at their house due to these fears of retaliation.
• They wondered what would happen to their children in school once the newspapers ran the story and were identified as victims. 
• They worried if the children would be stigmatized in some fashion.
• They were confused because their children said they “still really like their coach and did not want to get him in trouble.”
• Friends advised them to avoid the police and just disassociate themselves and the children from this coach…and just let it go!  

Upon learning of the abuse, parents/caregivers need to take the following actions:

It is incumbent upon the caregiver to react, no matter how depraved the actions inflicted by a predator on the child victim(s).  

1. Prevent the child from being exposed to further abuse once it is suspected.

2. Do not blame your child. Whatever they have disclosed to you, your child is not at fault. They have done nothing wrong.

3. Contact law enforcement as soon as possible and assist them in dealing with this disclosure. They will work toward the identification and prosecution of the person responsible for the sexual offenses against your children.

Important things to know and understand about this type of crime

• “Acquaintance molesters” are typically not a danger to your child or you. This type of predator has taken a lot of time to “groom” similar to “courting” your child. And as delusional as it sounds, the predator likely has feelings for the victim and is not out to physically harm them. 
• If your child expresses sympathy for the predator, it is not uncommon. Victims often times have feelings for the predator because of this “groomed” relationship.
• Your child’s name will never be disclosed by a newspaper especially in matters involving crimes against children. 
• It is very unlikely that your child was the only victim of this predator, to that end, law enforcement will attempt to identify other past and present child victims. 
• Your contact with law enforcement will introduce you to child advocacy centers whose mission it is to advocate for child victims of sexual abuse and therapeutic resources for them. They will be with you and your child throughout any potential criminal prosecution process.

Final Thought

The rage, anger, confusion, fear and any number of other emotions experienced by this mother when informed by her children of their molestation is natural and quite frankly expected. By having this glimpse at her experience, hopefully you will have a better understanding of how to cope with some of the fears and concerns you will experience and what needs to be done if, God forbid, this happens to your family.

Tom Clinton spent 30 years as a United States Postal Inspector where he routinely investigated child sex crimes involving the sexual exploitation of children through the manufacture, production, distribution and possession of child pornography and related crimes. He is currently a senior investigator and consultant for CSI.